Bridgwater & the Czech/Slovak Link

Dear Clammy Rock Types

I must say I'm honoured to be asked to write an article for your filthy magazine about the interesting activities of the Bridgwater Czech/Slovak Friendship Society which is obviously a serious Youth movement in the area and of great interest to Young People who have the usual social disabilities and smell.

Naturally being an important local councillor and civic dignitary, people assume that I have absolutely no knowledge of the deplorable rock 'n' roll music scene in this hitherto clean town noted for its operas , arias and other high culture, but in fact let me be the first to say fuck off the lot of you, you're all wankers, and didn't you shag my missus??

Of course, as the other members of the Economic Development and Tourism sub committee will tell you, I'm not just the most interesting and sexually challenging councillor on the committee I'm also an active and self-confessed pop musician myself playing in Bridgwater's 11th best band Matthew Bartlett's Visitors along with the day-release-combo Thermo Lovelies and the armed wing of the Co-op; The Funbunnies .

Now of course the sort of things that retarded youth can get out of our Czech links can be listed loudly and clearly in the following way:

• Come with us on a trip to the Czech Republic the beers really cheap
  
• No really, about 20p a pint in some places..
  
• yes, and the food is, ok I know its mainly dumplings but its really cheap
  
• And of course the high art/culture/etc etc
  
• There isn't a point 5, as most of you obviously wont be able to count this high and will start getting confused and begin thinking I'm trying to sell you some drugs, so the best thing you can do is have a look at our web site which is designed by the famous Slovak Dumpling MILOS SALUS
  

Cllr Smedley